What a messy day. My work was hard and intense today, and I barely had time to think. Trying to decide if I need to make a 6000 mile trip next week, looking forward to future objectives, trying to make a difference during transitional times, this is all hard.
But I’m happy to have the opportunity, because it’s so much better than the hell I was in a few years ago. When I think about all of my current stressors, the ones that bubble to the top are: traveling to the desert on business in July, being disappointed that my weight loss was not more than it is. I don’t have a good feel for how much I actually lost, since my last measure was in the hospital with a kidney stone, but I’m not happy.
By not having lost more this spring, I feel like I have not succeeded at my ND. Although to be honest, losing some is better than my usual steady gain. At the moment I’m eating not so small delicious portions, because if they were small enough, I’d have lost more.
But this is where I am right now. Time to face reality, and start learning the “small” part of my critical maxims.
