Irrationally full

Today’s lunch was delicious. Vegetable fritter with boiled potatoes and creamed leek. I looked at the pile of food and was confident that I could never eat it all. But I ate far more than I thought I would, and began to criticize myself for it. This was on top of a whole bagel this morning, even though I began to cut back on milk (finally!).

My first reaction was that I “shouldn’t” have eaten so much, without regard to fullness, satisfaction or satiety.  I shook off the criticism and and decided to rationally think through the issue.

I don’t know how many calories were in it, but I have not eaten excessively. However, when I consider that I ate pasta last night, bagel this morning, and now this, I feel that it is too much to continue to lose weight. My reaction to this thought is to eat more, namely the snack cookie I have in my cabinet. I probably will, since I can’t get it out of my head. On the other hand, I have never tried distracting myself from the obsession. There’s certainly plenty to occupy my work time, and since no one will be home early, I can work late to see if it cools off here any. 26 degrees C right now. Ick. It will be hot in California next week too, about the same. I need good outfits for 2 days. We’ll see if I can pull it together.

It certainly would benefit me if I could take more self-responsibility when DH is around. I do alright when he’s gone, but I let him do far too much when he’s at home. Tonight would be a good evening to spend in the basement, ironing and planning wardrobe.  Also figuring out what I might eat tonight wouldn’t be so bad. Fruit would be especially good, maybe the rest of my V8. And a sandwich. Sounds delicious.