Kryptonite and onions

With regards to Kryptonite, I went home last night and proceeded to do things other than sit on the sofa. My family, as usual, had beaten me to the punch. DH got into his construction project, a mirror and shelves for the bathroom, and DD was still out shopping.

Then came the blow. After specifically asking me at lunch time to have lasagna for dinner, DH changed his mind and suggested we have it tomorrow. DD still hasn’t eaten any of it, in spite of asking me to make it. These things hurt my feelings a little, even though they didn’t intend to. I ate lasagna anyway, and will probably eat something else tomorrow when they eat lasagna. “If” they eat it.

In any case, I got a couple of things done out of my ordinary. Recycling was one, can’t remember the others. Then I sat down and for a limited time enjoyed the internet, playing the daily sudoku games at my favorite sudoku site, Yahoo UK.

After eating a very normal portion of lasagna, and having the last of my cc cookies for dessert (delicious, thank you very much!), I went upstairs to annoy the kid. However, she was still out getting a doener sandwich for dinner with her friend, and DH was drilling holes in the bathroom wall. There was a BSOD on the computer, so I decided to use the exercycle. This spawned a burst of exercise, all of which was fun.

I worked 15 minutes on the cycle, then did 100 reps of arm training with the elastic bands. Deciding to go to bed, I lay in bed and did mini-crunches, again 100 of the things. This morning I feel good, except my stomach hurts a little.

Whether it was the exercise, or relative heat, or portion control, I was down below 160 today.  I’ve chosen to attribute it to all of those things. The statistical probability indicates that it will vacillate around here a bit before going down again. We’ll see. We’re visiting the in-laws this weekend, so it could be hard to eat like I want. Maybe I’ll take a veggie with me.

Admitting weight loss success without a rebound binge has been very difficult.  See “Sneak Attack Binge” for the start of this. What’s been good, though, is that I’ve learned how to deal with this layer of the onion. Having attributed the issue to fear of being put down or beaten up for my success, I began frequently repeating affirmations that reinforce my right to success, happiness about it, and the right to pursue these changes.  It’s funny, though, that after legalizing food and eating, I now had to legalize NOT eating. But it’s true. And effective.

It’s ok to eat tiny portions
It’s ok to not eat
It’s ok to plan and eat dessert
It’s ok to exercise only for fun
It’s ok to celebrate my successes
It’s ok to leave my old body behind
It’s ok to use other forms of protection besides fat

It’s ok.