Reframing a life

This change from food/ED being the center of my life is challenging and interesting. It means walking away from many activities that are both comforting and destructive at the same time.

Stopping weighing myself obsessively and, at the same time, going on a diet requires a change in mindset. I can’t spend my time thinking about what I ate or how “good” I was, but rather I rely on my learned habits and take the results as they come. Today, for example, the scale showed a kilo up even though I’d eaten just soup and salad yesterday. Reframing meant that I now choose to stop thinking about changing my diet, and increase my reliance on hunger/fullness signals. Doing that means I face the uncertainty of the question, “Am I hungry enough to eat?” When I answer, “No,” I get to choose something else to replace the habit of eating.

So far, the most successful replacement activity is choosing something that delights me. It still feels a bit odd to decide to enjoy an activity other than food, and to strive to do that all day long. Right now, for example, I could eat. But I want to choose something more satisfying. Eating is not satisfying, because it’s not a holistic satisfaction. It satisfies emotions, but not body nor head.

One activity that’s working well is my playlists of music. I’ve created several of them and focused each one around an emotional change I want to make.  The current playlist running is called “No Regrets.” It’s filled with songs that help me move away from beating myself up and thinking about past decisions. This list has the following songs:

1. Just One of Those Things
2. It’s Going to Take Some Time
3. Wild World
4. Wasted on the Way
5. My Give a Damn’s Busted
6. Rose Garden
7. It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere
8. Ain’t My Day to Care
9. Landslide
10. The Dance
11. I Hope You Dance
12. If You’re Going Through Hell

I’m looking forward to adding more songs to this and the other lists.