My basic beliefs

Based on Albert Ellis’ 12 Rational Beliefs, which I’ve adapted them for myself.

My Rational Beliefs

Love, approval and respect from others are all good things - but they are not absolute necessities for my survival. Disapproval is uncomfortable, and I don’t like it, but it’s not catastrophic. I can stand it - as I have many times before. I prefer to learn to accept myself, independently of what others think of me.

I will always seek to achieve as much as I can, but complete success and instantaneous competence is unrealistic. I prefer to just accept myself as a person, separate from my performance.

It is unfortunate that people sometimes do bad things. But humans are not perfect, and upsetting myself will not change that reality.

There is no law which says that things have to be the way I want. Too bad. It’s disappointing when things don’t go my way, but I can stand it — especially if I avoid wallowing in frustration and demanding that it not happen.

Many external factors are outside my control. But it is MY thoughts (not the external factors) which cause my feelings - and I can learn to control my thoughts.

Worrying about things that might go wrong will not stop them happening. It will, though, guarantee I get upset and disturbed right now.

Avoiding problems is only easier in the short term — putting things off can make them worse later on. I also lose valuable time worrying about them.

Relying on someone else for happiness, solutions or entertainment can lead to dependent behaviour. It is OK to seek help, as long as I learn to trust myself and my own judgement.

The past cannot influence me now. My current beliefs cause my reactions. I may have learned these beliefs in the past, but I can choose to analyse and change them in the present.

It is good to empathize with and help others, but I can’t change their problems and bad feelings by getting myself upset.

Discomfort and pain are a part of life. I don’t like them, but I can stand them. Also, my life would be very restricted if I always avoided discomfort.

Problems usually have many possible solutions. It is better to stop waiting for the perfect one and get on with the best available. I can live with less than the ideal.