There’s a critical moment in which I turn my brain off and stay on the sofa. Don’t know why it comes, or when, or how to change it yet.
Activating event: I spend long hours on the sofa even though I know of many other things that are theoretically more fun to do.
Irrational Belief: Don’t know how to find a belief here. I’ll just practice starting sentences and see how they finish.
I sit on the sofa and continue (mostly surfing) because
I can’t get up and do anything different
If I do, I won’t be allowed to sit back down. I’ve done enough for the day. I fear failing.
It’s safe. Nothing else can happen. My day has been full enough, I need to process what happened. (Hmmm. What is my justification when I start sofa-sitting in the morning.)
If I get up, I will force myself to do something I don’t want to do.
I love being on the sofa. It’s safe and no one expects anything of me.
I don’t have to do anything. The world goes away. I finally get some peace. I don’t have to worry about anything.
I don’t have to change anything else, do anything else. I’ve had enough of activity.
There is simply nothing more attractive than sitting on the sofa.
Consequences of “There’s nothing more attractive than sitting on the sofa:” I don’t get to experience the satisfaction and compare the enjoyment of the sofa to anything else.
Dispute the irrational belief: Some things get you up. Food used to, but it doesn’t any more. If you were to get an offer to go to a nice cafe, or to a movie that you want to see, you would go. You sit on the sofa because you want to be entertained. You want to take a break from doing and experience/watch instead. That’s why it’s so hard to get up from the sofa to do even the simplest of chores.
Effective new behavior: When you sit on the sofa, you sometimes regret the way the room looks. You also miss experiencing the other rooms and other places. You also feel bad because you know that many places are not as clean as you would prefer. Those cables on the entertainment center, for example, are messy looking. What if you were to work to make a more attractive nest for yourself? Not the doing dishes that the teenager has left lying aroun, but getting up to take action only on things that will make your sofa experience more pleasurable. And it doesn’t matter which improvement activity you choose - the improvement will be worth it. Think about how satisfying it is now that the kitchen is clean more often, and it’s much easier to do it.
Feelings: Better, and I think it will be an interesting experiment. I feel a bit uncertain that it will deliver real results though. Relief that I actually decoded why it feels better on the sofa (no musts) and what actually gets me up (entertainment).
It is possible to make my environment nicer than it already is. I do not have to live in filth like my parents did. I can take pride in arranging my house and my life the way I want. I want a clean house without being chained to the work. I want a peaceful place to sit and be entertained without worrying about the next chore.
This is not the final word on this topic. I see that I understand more about what motivates me to get up off the sofa, but I don’t feel that I necessarily have this defeated in terms of attitude. I believe that “normal” people have a stronger motivation to move on to other activities than I do when sofa-sitting. It’s not that others don’t sofa-sit, but rather the frequency and duration of my sofa-sitting is way out of the norm. That’s what I want to improve.
