One slice at a time

No, thanks, I’ll pass right now.
Sorry, not hungry.
You know, I don’t really want any of that
A slightly smaller serving, please.

Those words have not historically been a part of my vocabulary. But now, I want to eat less and less, and sometimes I even give into this urge. Today, for example. I got up at the crack of dawn and wanted tea. So I drank half a liter of tea, and was ready for breakfast. “You know what?” I thought, “I’ll fix just one slice of toast instead of two. If I want a second slice, I’ll come back and get it. Then it will be nice and fresh. I’ll just leave the bread out and the slicing machine set up to prove to myself that it’s there if I want it.”

When I took my dish out to the kitchen, I wondered what the slicer was still doing out. Then I remembered I was going to eat more if I wanted. But I’d forgotten, and never missed the second slice. Cool. One slice, and a proportionately smaller glass of milk did fine for my breakfast.

Lunch was just as delicious. Since DH is sick at home, I took the luxury of bringing in a packed lunch from home and surfing the web while I ate at my desk. It was the perfect sandwich: two slices of white bread, lightly toasted, with mayo, turkey, cheese, and some of my lovely heart-shaped salami. As I built the sandwich, I eyeballed the meat and consistently chose to put fewer slices on the bread than normal. Just for indulgence, I added an extra slice of the salami - you never get enough love. Add to that my favorite apple of the moment (a Gala Star), a cookie, and a single beautiful Merci chocolate, and I had the perfect lunch.

It’s a real thrill to deliberately reduce my portion size without rebound binges. This gives me almost the same rush as I got when I first experienced physical hunger without panic. Hell, who needs bungee jumping when you can simply not eat a slice of roast turkey?

Keep your eyes on the prize. My prize is a natural weight, coupled with a natural amount of eating control, just like normal eaters. To go from my current approx. 150 kilo to a normal weight (who knows? 75kg? 80 kg? who cares right now? That’s like worrying which plank on the side of the barn I’m going to hit when I’m half a mile away from the barn.), I’ll have to permanently change the volume of what I eat. One slice at a time is a damn sight better than cutting my calories in half overnight.