Awakening the Athlete Within

During the 1960’s, when I was clueless, I had Doris Day. Her films, some of which I only learned later had been called “sex comedies,” held a strong fascination for me. Her beauty, her spunk, her optimism cheered me during a time in which my family was falling apart.

There are 2 mental models I’m missing: one is that of a normal eater, and the other is that of a normal exerciser. Normal is the watchword here, because I don’t see myself as a Southern belle who eats like a bird, nor as a high-achieving marathoner. Instead, it’s conceivable for me to be a person who exercises daily and eats regularly in moderation.

The mental model of a normal eater is coming slowly. I experience now what it feels like to eat normal portions and to stop when satisfied. Granted, it’s not intuitive, but with my history, I’m pleased to have a goal of being a “skilled” normal eater.

But exercise is another matter. One irrational thought I have had is that I am fat, therefore I cannot be fit at all.

Wrong.

Yesterday, as I began to think about exercise differently, I realized that I had proven a reasonable level of fitness already. One colleague told me a long time ago that I really did move well as a person of size, and that I had good stamina. I proved that I could walk for several hours a day on vacation. I proved that I can give my all at a pretty hard bout of aquajogging, and that I can exercise til I sweat.

In one film (can’t remember which, let me know if you recognize it) Doris exercised. She was ready for bed, in her cute little 1960’s pajamas, and just did her calisthenics beside the bed, I believe while chatting with her husband. No big deal. It was just what she did.

Last night I exercised before bed, some calisthenics, some breathing and stretching, and some positive thinking.

1. I woke up this morning due to a dream in which I was laughing so hard, I fell to my knees on the floor. The guy across the table from me was telling the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and the woman near us was adding inappropriate sounds, like machine-gun shots when he told how dangerous the woods were. I could actually feel that I had been laughing hard, because my belly muscles felt exercised.
2. It’s amazing to realize that I control how I think about exercise, and can really make fundamental changes in my behavior.
3. I’m seeing positive thinking changes, primarily around the idea that “if I get up off the sofa, I can fix many of these little things that aren’t getting done.” Stuff like decluttering, decorating, cleaning, etc.
4. I chose rest over web surfing last night. Feel better this morning for having done this.
5. I like that I now have more and more experiences of “just doing” things that I used to obsess about not doing, like stopping eating and doing dishes.