Pathway to Normal Eating: Define What You Want Your Final State to Be

My final state is described in my mission statement.

… permanently change to a moderate range of Emotional, Physical and Social behaviors 

That may sound odd or ambiguous to you, but it’s extremely clear to me. As a compulsive eater who never learned good social or emotional skills, resolving those issues is what I describe as becoming normal.

In school, I often had teachers and counselors try to help. “Count to 10 before you cry,” or some other form of advice that might have helped someone far less screwed up than I was. They were simply helpless in face of my problems, which were overwhelming. 40 years ago, it was rare for a school to intervene in a family life. Might have been better for me if someone had, but that’s all in the past now.

One of the most basic social skills I lacked was personal hygiene. It wasn’t pretty, 6 people sharing a 900 square foot house with parents who never cleaned. Cockroaches were part of daily life. So was washing just the dishes you needed to eat with, ignoring the dishes and pans piled everywhere. The rest of the house was the same. Clothes were not washed, they lay mildewing on the bathroom floor next to the washer and dryer. Eventually the bathroom floor rotted through. It was impossible for me to even recognize that I stank.

My future state includes being able to easily clean up after myself without guilt or shame. I can go out in the company of others without worrying about my smell or physical presentation. I have all of that past shame so far in the past that it does not affect current conversation.  I can deal with everyday hard emotions without going overboard. I can move with ease and strength, free from the difficulties significant extra weight brings. This picture becomes more clear for me every day.

Define what you want your final state to be. Be specific. Motivate yourself by creating a strong picture of your future state. Let that future state guide your choices today.