Sometimes enough is enough. I’m starting to realize that, to some extent, I’m recovered enough to get on with life and really push food and eating obsession to the back of my life. I’d noticed that before, but today I chose to live that way too.
Today I got up at 4 a.m. and cleaned the kitchen because that is what I wanted to do.
Today, I replaced thoughts of “how to get the perfect taste” and the “perfect portion size” with thoughts of, “now that lunch is out of the way, I can get on with life.”
Today, I told myself to strive to experience hunger stronger than I normally do. Just to find out what happens.
I strove to focus on my relationships without trying to fix either myself or anyone else.
Today I said, enough is enough, stop causing myself pain from fear of rejection, or being ridiculed, from fear of anything.
What happened?
Today, I put my other things ahead of lunch, and didn’t mind. I enjoyed the crisp fall day, looked at the kids leaving school, talked to my daughter without trying to make everything perfect for her.
Today I was a little crazy and silly. I went to my bed and just rested for an hour without sleeping. I told my daughter that she was not the center of the universe. She said, “I know.” Today I wasn’t perfect.
Today I made soup for dinner. And burned it a little. And ate it anyway, because it was delicious anyway, because the burned onions were actually kinda sweet.
Today I said enough is enough.
And it was.
