One moment is all it takes to start

When I recognized that diets would not solve my ED, I felt anxiety. Anxiety over everything was actually the core of my problem, because eating was the only solution I knew.

Slowly I began to learn new techniques, but the most important thought change I made was to be willing to accept even the smallest attempt as an improvement. Being able to sit with my feelings for even a minute was a great step forward.

Now I am much more proactive, and I often can say, “I don’t want to eat over this. What else do I choose to do?” and can actually do something else.

It’s helping now, with the first long business trip I’ve made in several months. I’m feeling quite confident, and less dependent of food than ever. I used to take a second suitcase to stock up on foods that I and my daughter felt we “needed” to have, but now I take just one, and plan to buy only a small quantity of things Dear Daughter has asked for. I neither feel the need for things for me, nor to stock up heavily for her.

Even restaurants don’t have the draw they used to. At first I was craving a chinese chicken salad, but once I realized I could make it myself, I did. Craving satisfied, and there’s no need to get all excited about finding a good restaurant with the “perfect” salad. I even pulled some chocolate chip cookie dough and made just a perfect portion of cookies to take with me on the airplane, so there’s no annoying “eat it because it’s all you have” feeling. My cravings list is now reduced to cottage cheese, cantaloupe and fresh California veggies.

I like feeling more peaceful.