Ask why five times

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Yesterday was a great day for coping. I felt on top of the world all day, and didn’t need any throw-away therapy until nearly the end of the afternoon. Even then it wasn’t a big issue.

Today is a new day. I arrived at work in a low mood. I had to go for the Post-It notes before even getting my coffee. Here’s what I wrote:

Something feels bad.
I feel fat and incapable.
I lumbered into work
I will never lose weight.
I’m not as good as DH.
I eat too much to lose weight.
I can’t eat any less.
I’m lost.
This doesn’t happen as often as it used to, but it’s still happening now.
Tired? No
Hungry? No
Successful? No
High self-esteem? No
Frustrated? Yes

Aha, a “Yes.” Now it’s time to ask “Why” until an actionable reason shows up. Typically I have to ask “Why” at least 5 times.

Why? Not losing weight
Why? Eating too much
Why? Easy to eat too much
Why? No short term reward for eating less

Ahhh. That’s actionable. I choose to not make “easy to eat too much” actionable, because that goes against my IE principles. However, I can take action to give myself short term rewards whenever I eat less than I am currently eating now.

It would be pretty convenient to just go through the house and throw out everything I consider fattening, but it wouldn’t last, and I would certainly binge. That also wouldn’t solve work cafeteria eating or restaurant eating. It’s a much better decision for me to figure out how to reward myself for eating to a lower level of total caloric intake.

For me, the most successful actions to take are the ones that change my thinking. That’s where I’ll focus.

If only I knew how. Sigh. Something else to learn.