Photo History

Just to give you a picture of my progress, here are some photos. Probably the total weight loss from earliest picture to newest is 40 pounds MOL. It’s not a very good comparison, though, so I’ll add that the blue pants in the Oct 06 are now loose all over. Also, the yellow shirt picture is [...]

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Victory over cheese roll thinking

Reaching deep in my soul, eyes closed, at peace, calmly reflective.
What I’ve achieved:

Enough of my financial goals

Enough of my career goals

Enough of my family goals

What keeps bugging me? My weight and inability to change it quickly. Remember the principles of fast, easy or permanent? I’m pushing for faster weight loss, but I don’t have a [...]

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Obsessively searching for support

Falling in love takes over the life of teenagers. They walk around, holding hands, literally inseparable. Making decisions cannot be done without the other person helping. It’s overwhelming, thrilling, passionate, obsessive. It’s also appropriate for teenagers, less so for adults.
Much of my adult life was lived with teenage passion: fighting for diversity, for equal rights, [...]

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Positive Changes I’m making

Positive changes I’ve noticed that I am making:

My changes are permanent. Several days of eating lightly don’t result in a late-night tryst with chocolate cake
The more often I eat what I want, when I want it, the more I’m able to choose foods and quantities that will support weight loss
These changes spill over into the [...]

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Going on an intuitive eating diet

I’m a normal eater. I’m clearly losing weight, and able to maintain my intuitive eating abilities, even when I don’t stand on a scale every day. Compulsive eating is no longer a disorder that controls my life. This is amazing progress, and I’m very proud of these achievements.
There’s more I want, though. More fitness, more [...]

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If it really bugged you, why didn’t you just deal with it?

Who needs poetry and lingerie when we have chocolate?
A box of California sunshine turned into a teeming, writhing haven for raisin larvae. Blech, I almost barfed when I realized I’d been eating those things. Still better than the actual raisin moths that FLEW out of the box previous to this one. Gross, gross, gross. It seems there’s [...]

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It’s a Thinking problem, not an Eating problem

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one’s thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A tricky thing about resolving an eating disorder is the onion effect. Every time you resolve one issue, another pops up. Makes you almost wanna cry, don’t it? (onion irony intended)
I can [...]

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Alive and working

Work is inevitable. Struggle is optional.
I’m still here - just swamped at work. I’m working in the mornings before I go to work, all day without a pause, then in the evenings again after I get home.
No chance to get out to swim since last Sunday. No chance to write thoughtful posts to my blog. [...]

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Pathway to Normal Eating: Start setting and achieving realistic goals

Setting goals can be intimidating for an ED person. For me, any kind of food limiting goal was impossible. Diets were simply one big long cheat, pretending to want to diet away my fat, yet almost never eating according to the plan. The one time I lost on a diet program, I lost over 100 [...]

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October: Goal-free month

After September’s glorious debacle, in which I achieved exactly zero of my goals, I have decided to have a goal-free month.
Instead, I’m after maximum fun, maximum satisfaction, maximum delight. And it starts today.

I joyfully cleaned one more old thing out of the freezer (the banana bread)
I ate banana bread for breakfast. It was delicious.
I watched [...]

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