The job that I haven’t not gotten yet is still not not gotten

Before regular eating and weight loss programming resumes, here is another short commercial break from your insane obsessive job hunter.
Naming my emotions is helping me deal with them. Saying them out loud helps me work through the emotions. Writing them down reinforces the insanity and futility of obsessing.
I still haven’t not gotten the job, but I [...]

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Techniques for dealing with disappointment

Life is shit. Sometimes. However, when you’re ED with a very negative self-esteem, even good events can be bad events. Some people can take even the best of circumstances and reframe them into shit.
I’m in the waiting phase to hear about my possible new job. My relatively objective opinion is that the interview was set [...]

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My emotional collapse and recovery

After I posted my last emotion-filled message, I had a half-hour telecon with my boss. Turns out the hiring manager told her that I’d applied. It used to be that it was common courtesy around here to inform your boss you are interviewing, but I didn’t this time. Common courtesy is pretty much gone from [...]

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Interview is over

Just like a rugby game, I wound myself up before the interview, reviewing my achievements and organizing my presentation. I was so stoked, my husband could see my energy as we ate lunch before the interview.
I couldn’t eat anything but a few bites of salad and drink a little juice. Today I just dove deeply into [...]

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Exercise as a comfort tool

My current affirmations include:

Eating that won’t help me with what’s on my mind
I want to go swimming. It helps me think clearly
I like being strong enough to go up the stairs at work without breathing hard

Rather than spending time thinking about my eating patterns and why I do or do not eat, I am providing [...]

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Running towards success

I want to run, really hard and fast, to my final state of normalcy. That state of moderate emotional, physical and social behavior.
Social behavior is my tough problem today. My work has been a mess of confusion, shared by others, due to a very bad lack of leadership on the part of the boss. She [...]

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Satisfaction is a choice

Yesterday’s objective was to keep choosing to be satisfied, since I was essentially overwhelmed trying to do normal stuff and take care of my daughter as well. Poor thing has mononucleosis, so she’s really suffering right now.
In general, I fulfilled this objective quite well. “I’m satisfied with my satisfaction objective.” LOL
I took care of the [...]

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Dachau and human conflict

My daughter didn’t want to go to Dachau today. She sees the school and the class she’s in as a prison and tries to avoid any prolonged contact. This school trip would be all day, with several hours on a bus. She’s also been already, maybe twice, so she also doesn’t feel that she has [...]

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Dachau and human conflict

My daughter didn’t want to go to Dachau today. She sees the school and the class she’s in as a prison and tries to avoid any prolonged contact. This school trip would be all day, with several hours on a bus. She’s also been already, maybe twice, so she also doesn’t feel that she has [...]

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What’s the lamest superpower?

It’s a murderous day at work. I have 2 hours to convince 7 people how to implement a key strategy of our company without letting my boss have a bout of verbal diarrhea. I love waorking for her, but she can on and on sometimes. This really costs us engagement on the part of others, [...]

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