Archive for September, 2008

As the summer comes to an end, the outdoor pool season comes to an end and the indoor pools open up again. With it comes a reminder of my most peculiar contradiction in my thinking: naked while fat.

I can battle for the rights of almost anyone diversity-wise. I’ve gone on protests for gay rights (I’m not gay), defended against ageism and sexism, but I never seem to be able to stand up for fat rights. Except for nudism.

How weird is that? Regardless of my own physical size, I’ve been a nudist my whole adult life. This includes going out in public and shedding my clothes among crowds of other human beings. But I can’t stand up in the workplace and insist that we have meeting room chairs that don’t cut painfully into my hips.

When I read about other (mostly) women who gain ten pounds and won’t be caught dead in a swimsuit, it kind of mystifies me. Applying logic to this, however, I realize that the real mystery is in my ability to be naked while fat.

But tonight, I can’t figure it out. I may also never even try. Instead, I’m off to the Forest Sauna, so I can commune with the little woodland creatures.

All of us naked, of course.


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The conflict I’m working on right now is the belief that a meal has to contain a certain volume of food, like 2 slices of bread at lunch, yet I want to get my veggies in and lose weight. The positive side of 2 slices is it’s a habit that makes me feel comfortable and cared for. But making a beautiful crunchy salad is also comforting and tells me that I care for myself very well. Additionally, the veggies meet my goal of 5-9 veggie servings a day, which is part of my desired self-improvement.

  • Renee updated her mission statement: her mission is to end the weight struggle, enabling others to express their soul’s gift
  • Turn down your inner critic and really start enjoying your life
  • Go out and have some fun, right now
  • Explore your soul’s gifts and set your goals to enhance them
  • It doesn’t matter if you are freaking out about your soul’s gift. You are on a growth path, and it will eventually come out.
  • Conflict is simply 2 forces pulling in opposite directions
  • It’s a conflict to want both to be accepted (including accepting yourself) for what you are today, AND to want to change in positive ways. It’s ok.
  • Reframe the conflict to this: “I am good just as I am, AND I’m looking forward to even more growth as I make positive changes.”
  • Discover what the different elements of the conflict give you, then find a way to provide that even when you are pursuing the other side of the conflict.

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This is a tough one. I find it hard to accept that no one is more worthy than another, particularly that I am not less worthy than others.


  • Perhaps some of your dreams have already come true
  • It’s time to dream a future that perfectly suits you
  • No one else’s dream can possibly suit you, because it’s not yours
  • Jealousy is about stopping our imagination too short; not believing that we can have what we want, or thinking about if we would really want the object of our jealousy
  • E.g. a celebrity might have lots of money and houses, but little freedom and no privacy
  • With a younger body, comes lack of experience
  • You always choose what you want to create now. It becomes your future. What do you choose in this moment?
  • Even not making a decision chooses a path of uncertainty and powerlessness
  • What objections do you have to accepting yourself?
  • If you feel compelled out of love to give your kids, loved ones and your pets what they need and want, you can do the same for yourself
  • Reality check: why does self-acceptance matter? A lack of it causes us to go into backup mode. If backup mode is to comfort yourself by eating, then you will gain or not lose weight.
  • How does the Hate Yourself Thin method work for you? (Hint: it doesn’t work)
  • Even if you lose weight by hating yourself, it’s thin and unhappy. Thin and happy is better AND possible
  • Purpose of changing: so you can fully live your life, expressing yourself as you want
  • Take lots of time to address all your concerns, so you accept yourself as you are
  • Even if you accept yourself as you are, you can still change. In fact, you change using an attitude of love and hope for the future state
  • Self-acceptance leads to nurturing yourself
  • For each objection you recognize, ask yourself, “What is the positive intent of this objection?” Really listen to yourself.
  • “I don’t deserve it. I’m not worth accepting myself as I am.” Who is worth it? No one. What makes them worth it? Nothing. It’s a completely false question. No soul is truly more worthy than another.
  • When you are aligned and congruent with accepting yourself where you are, next week will come another guided journey to increase that self-acceptance.

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  • Overcoming the number 1 objection to accepting ourselves as we are (I’m not good enough/perfect)
  • State things in the positive instead of the negative because our mind tends to skip over the “not” words. “I don’t want to overeat” leads more often to overeating than “I want to eat until I feel just right”
  • When you show up in the world from a place of self-acceptance and peace, it will positively affect how other people interact with you
  • Put your own oxygen mask on first enables you to help others more effectively. You can give more to the world.
  • Actions speak louder than words
  • Getting in touch with the current moment encourages self-acceptance and gives feelings of peace
  • Instead of saying “I won’t overeat” try “I stop when I’m satisfied” or “I go do fun things when I’m satisfied”
  • This is the “lose weight and enjoy it” method
  • Constantly set your intent before every eating experience: “How do I want to feel at the end of this event?” You give your subconscious mind a target that it will work toward.
  • Your answer will vary. Sometimes you might want to eat to 80%, sometimes more or less. Choose consciously. Choose to be at peace with your decision
  • Trust that you will still change even if you don’t live the strictest regimen possible. It’s ok to not be perfect in your dieting.
  • Remember, you’re the only “you” you have. That’s wonderful. Enjoy yourself and your life.
  • Set the goals YOU want for yourself. The more you choose and pursue your own goals, the happier you will be.
  • Vulnerabilities and imperfections make you more approachable and lovable and human.
  • What if you loved yourself “just because?” Your soul shines out from your eyes, and every time you look in the mirror, your love is there to see. Makes a nice change for those of us who hate looking in the mirror, eh?

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  • How to stop the binge cycle in its tracks
  • Diving into self-criticism is the best way to stop progress
  • Some people fear being hungry
  • Hunger is natural and good. It’s natural to feel it several times a day.
  • Harsh self-talk saps energy out of us.
  • You don’t have to be tough on yourself. The boot camp mentality can be destructive.
  • When we love and accept ourselves, we grow and thrive at extraordinary rates.
  • Hunger is our friend. It’s a sign that we’re on track.
  • Feel hunger and appreciate it. Appreciate that you’re on track for normal eating, and even on your weight loss plan
  • Hunger tells you you’re really going to enjoy your meal
  • Self acceptance is critical to your progress and your success
  • Critical self-talk will kill progress
  • Binging is not about the food. It’s about a desperate lack of self-acceptance and self-love.
  • Instead of saying “practice non-food self-care,” say “practice energy-burning self-care” or “practice full-body love and meditation” or “strength-building self-care” or “stamina-building self-care”
  • Guided Journey to Self-Acceptance
    • Relax and reconnect to whatever it is that refreshes you
    • Visualize someone you love unconditionally. A pet or a child, or whoever. Dead or alive, doesn’t matter.
    • Let your love pour out.
    • Feel the love you are generating
    • Notice all the details of what you see in great detail.
    • Where are they in your field of vision
    • Drink in the image
    • Imagine seeing an image of yourself, but in the exact same place in your visual field as the person you just imagined. Basically fade the old person out and you in.
    • Feel the same love. This is the love you have for yourself.
    • What would it be like if you saw yourself with the same love that you have for the other person? How would you behave?
    • What would you do if she were troubled?
    • That person can be any way she wants to be. Drink it in.

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Breathing can be cleansing, both for fresh air and mental release. I like to release worries by taking some deep breaths.

I have already replaced my struggle with weight loss with the idea that I don’t have to beat myself up over my decisions, and I look forward to adding more things to the list.

Actually, I’m not so sure I agree with Hara Hachi Bu. In my mind, hunger and fullness are a continuum. 80% full doesn’t make as much sense to me as thinking “I’m full enough to last to my next chosen eating experience.” Renee uses the example at a party, saying “I’m good. I’m good.”

Today I actually ate lunch to the “I’m full enough” stage. Breakfast was a little larger than normal, then there was an unexpected birthday party, so I ate a little then. Enjoyed them both enormously, but combined they were more carbs than I normally eat in a day. So, at lunch, I told the server to cut back on my potatoes, and I’m going to eat veggie-heavy and carb-light tonight. That’s good self-correcting. In terms of fullness, breakfast was a little more full than normal, and with the birthday, I wasn’t nearly as hungry as usual for lunch. So I ate lightly and intend to continue this tonight. At that point, I declare myself “self-corrected” enough, and will get on with life.


  • To speed up or regulate your weight loss, use the Hara Hachi Bu principle of eating to only 80% full.
  • Breathe in and out, sending out negative emotions and burdens, and breathing in peace and joy and be grateful
  • Start to track your progress more carefully. If you are not achieving your baby step goals, do Re-Dos and brainstorm new practices to reach the goal.
  • Eating to Hara Hachi Bu includes feeling hungry, sometimes quite hungry at the next meal. Remembering the journey I’m on, and that it involves moving to a new definition of normally hungry, helps make hunger feelings joyful instead of fear-inducing.
  • To cultivate the ability of Hara Hachi Bu, use the feel your stomach method of identifying fullness as well as hunger. Ask, “How many parts full am I now?” Make your best assessment and get on with life.
  • It’s not about getting it 100% right. Just enjoy it and learn a little.
  • One of the most important things to breathe in is self-acceptance. One of the most important things to breathe out is self-criticism.
  • When you look in the mirror, look for the light, your soul, not the physical.

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  • People who are very overweight have often turned off feeling in their lives, both pain and pleasure.
  • The more you enjoy the process, the faster time goes.
  • Feel good now, enjoy the journey.
  • Enlightened selfishness is spiritual selfishness, giving yourself the things you need to have a healthy spirit.
  • Integrating the present you using the seven steps
  • If you continue to behave naturally slender, your body will catch up. (Presuming that you make an effort to let your body use stored energy, generally by eating less than you actually need)
  • This journey affects who you are as well as your weight and size. Friendships and relationships shift as you change.
  • When you recognize that you are changing, accept the changes, and gently make the relationship adjustments to continue to support yourself. Be genuine in who you are, but don’t avoid it or evangelize.
  • You change at all of the seven levels, so understand and be patient with it.
  • At parties, etc, your friends just want you to have a good time. If you convince them that you’ve good as you are, then they won’t continue to push food on you. “I’m good” is a good thing to say.

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