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Archive for June, 2010

I got through it ok, just lasted a couple of days. Then a quilt retreat came along and I’ve been happily occupied with that.

An interesting thing happened on the way to a piece of banana bread. At the retreat, everyone was talking about how good the banana bread was, and I took a piece to try. Grabbing my coffee, I realized I wanted to spend some time MOL alone, so I went outside and sat  on the terrace.

It was almost like mediation, and the coffee and the bread just sat there. After a while, I tasted the bread and, while it was indeed tasty, I knew I wasn’t hungry and didn’t want it. Eventually I tried a bit more, but the feeling of “Yuck! I don’t want to put any more of that in my body’  became strong enough that I felt confident it was true. I eventually dropped the piece into the trash, discreetly covering it with a napkin so as not to insult the baker (it was tasty), and went on my way without a care in the world.

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…and trying to get through it. Eating is ok, but I wish I had a fallback menu that is both low-calorie and easy to fix. That’s a question of building a good habit, I suppose.

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Almost one and a half year’s pause, I’m letting you know where my head is at.

I have discovered  that I can reduce my overeating by addressing the voice yelling at me inside my head. For example, after a social event, I have a practice of yelling at myself all the way home. All of the reasons are specious, like “I shouldn’t have used that word” or “I should have talked more.” But that yelling makes me feel bad, and I would crave food to feel good again.

Now I’m actively practicing the habit of saying, “I want to treat myself great all the time, so I’m not going to yell at myself right now. And I’m not going to eat in such a way that I feel bad, either.”

When I am successful with this, I find that I don’t have to eat when I get home.

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