Archive for the ‘Austen, movies and misc’ Category

Once people with eating disorders start to get their heads on straight, they find out there’s lots of things they don’t know how to do. Rather than make decisions, they (read I) used to eat until the decision was no longer necessary.

Maggie Barnes (Julia Roberts) in Runaway Bride had the same problem.  She’d fall in “love” with anyone who fell in love with her, and life was great until the wedding day. Then she’d run.

People with eating disorders are often pretending that everything’s fine, until a crisis comes up. Then they run to food.

When Maggie realizes she must find a new way to face her crises, she works through it bit by bit. Not only does she discover her career path in hardware (lamp) design, she also looks at other areas in her life. The story shows the example of Maggie finding out how she likes her eggs.

What have I been discovering lately? Sewing. Pride in cleaning up my own space. How to decorate. How to let go of the past. How to stop mindless internet surfing. That I like my fingernails 1-2 millimeters long. And how I like my eggs cooked.

I like my eggs cooked to fit the recipe. Not to fit my man, not to fit a chef’s definition. That means I like hard-boiled eggs in tuna salad, sliced omelet in fried rice, poached in Eggs Benedict, fried over medium to go with creamed spinach and boiled potatoes, and omelet in a breakfast McMuffin-style sandwich.

When I eat eggs with toast, I prefer scrambled, soft but not runny, and made with about a teaspoon of water per egg.

Maggie would be proud.


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As the summer comes to an end, the outdoor pool season comes to an end and the indoor pools open up again. With it comes a reminder of my most peculiar contradiction in my thinking: naked while fat.

I can battle for the rights of almost anyone diversity-wise. I’ve gone on protests for gay rights (I’m not gay), defended against ageism and sexism, but I never seem to be able to stand up for fat rights. Except for nudism.

How weird is that? Regardless of my own physical size, I’ve been a nudist my whole adult life. This includes going out in public and shedding my clothes among crowds of other human beings. But I can’t stand up in the workplace and insist that we have meeting room chairs that don’t cut painfully into my hips.

When I read about other (mostly) women who gain ten pounds and won’t be caught dead in a swimsuit, it kind of mystifies me. Applying logic to this, however, I realize that the real mystery is in my ability to be naked while fat.

But tonight, I can’t figure it out. I may also never even try. Instead, I’m off to the Forest Sauna, so I can commune with the little woodland creatures.

All of us naked, of course.

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Hi, I’m still around. We are on vacation and remodeling the living room. Here are before and in-the-middle pictures. I’d wondered if I would go crazy and eat everything in sight, since we normally travel during vacation, but I didn’t. It’s actually been great.

I’m doing great on intuitive eating, am even losing weight. Looks like I lost a pound since the first of August. Exercise was also easy, since we had to move over 1000 books ( we moved the bookshelf from one wall to the opposite). Many of the shelves had two layers of books in them. I’ve culled a couple of boxes of books, and moved many more down to the basement. Talk about building your arms!

As I picked through my books, I’ve decided to put away all of the eating disorder/intuitive eating books. I don’t need them now, probably don’t need them any more at all. I found my copy of Geneen Roth’s Breaking Free From Emotional Eating, which was the book that got me started so many years ago.

Before: the bookshelf is on the wall behind the door. White wallpaper with shiny spots. Yick.

In the middle: Bookshelf is behind the photographer. The left wall is a pale green in a “crumpled paper”  style. The accent wall is red in the same paper. The red will wrap around into the eating area, and the final wall will be a conforming white tone. We’re going to put an architectural-style entertainment center on the red wall. I get to buy a big screen TV!! Yay! 46 inches of LCD beauty!

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This was a pleasant surprise. DH and I went to this movie this evening, just to enjoy ourselves, and I discover that the plot included a very supportive perspective on large people.

 (SPOILER alert)

First Maxwell Smart had a weight issue himself that he conquered in a highly normal way, then he used his job as a platform to notice and connect with some people of size. Very positive, very empowering.

And the movie was laugh out loud fun too. The only thing keeping me from buying it when it arrives on DVD is a single barf scene which was too gross for my delicate sensibilities.

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Remember this post about the Australian nutritionist who proposed a “fat tax” on airline tickets, so people would pay by weight?


Well, the US airlines are now considering it as a potential way to cover fuel costs. Check out MSNBC’s story on how airlines are considering ways to get customers to pay by the pound.


Turns out that airlines estimate that a typical passenger has a total weight of about 220 pounds INCLUDING luggage. Now they are considering changing their mindset from “people are human and deserve to be treated with dignity” to “people are just like any other cargo.”

That offends me on a human level, but in general, the move to paying by total actual weight is realistic and fair. There were some insulting absurdities in the video clip, like imagining that people would be forced to stand on a scale in full view of other passengers. Airlines don’t want to offend passengers – they want to make money. They will find a way around the embarrassment issue.

The other absurd element in the video were the passengers who commented that some people would pay less. That’s not the point of the change, now is it? The airlines were making a certain amount of profit based on the current prices. The average ticket price created that profit. Now the airlines have to compensate for higher fuel charges. That means the average ticket price will go UP.

Take the average weight of the 50th percentile 45 year old white male (arguably a stereotypical business traveler). See http://www.halls.md/chart/men-weight-w.htm for the details and many other charts. 180 pounds.

Add to that the weight of clothes, computer, luggage. It’s not going to be hard for him to reach the current typical weight that the airline charges the current price. You can look at airfares as tracked by the US govt. here:


Interestingly enough, in Table 6, counting all airports in the 48 states which have more than 10 passengers a day, the average airfare is $220. So, it looks almost like a SWAG on the airlines’ part (SWAG = Silly Wild-Ass Guess), but it seems the current price is around $1 per pound.

Airlines are not considering this change out of any sense of fairness, so you can rest assured that prices will rise above $1 pound on average.

So, you might (wishfully) think that you will be one of those people who pay less? Keep in mind the airlines have to increase the average price. That means they have to raise prices for more than half the population on average.

That can be done in a million different ways. They can just charge travelers over that weight more (a “fat tax” so to say), or they can charge everyone more based on the actual average per person weight on a flight. Or they can charge a flat base rate, and add on to every person based on some weight factor. Or they can balance weight surcharges (and they probably will) based on market competition. Or they can charge by weight ranges. Even one pound into the next range might increase your fare by a bunch. The possibilities are endless.

Charges by weight will never be done in a way that is fair to individuals, since the competitive forces are so strong. To be absolutely fair, every person would pay per mile, per pound, the same rate no matter where you go. Won’t happen.

Don’t forget that the price of fuel (remember this is the reason to consider charging by weight) is only a part of the total cost of flying. Regardless of how much you weigh, or how much fuel costs, the airline staff get the same salary. That $220 ticket isn’t all fuel – it’s staffing, advertising, safety, many more costs.

Airlines, naturally, aren’t interested in sharing that information, because it’s critical to competition. This pdf shows that fuels costs are an estimated 16% of their operating costs.


If that doubles, you would naturally think that the price of a ticket should increase proportionally. But there’s more. Fuel costs also impact many of the other operating costs, so there’s more to pay. Ultimately, an average increase of 50% per ticket is not going to be extraordinary, regardless of how and who you charge. Get used to it.

It’s the economy, not the fat.

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It’s certainly Monday. I went all the way to work with my shirt on inside out. Then I feel asleep in the car on the way to work (DH was driving). We haven’t had an argument with the kid in several days – it’s been nice. Today she even asked us to turn up the volume on the radio, which means she wasn’t hiding behind her iPod.

Last night I got a slight sinus inflammation, due to my own dumb behaviors. I noticed that if I hold my nose and try to blow through it, the air comes out my left eye tear duct. Stupid body trick, but fun. I was playing with this a lot lately, until last night, that side of my sinuses got a little swollen and started hurting. Now I’m taking Coricidin and hoping the pain will ease. Hot tea or water, especially breathing in the steam, also helps. Tylenol did not help, so there’s something about the decongestant in the Coricidin that is better for this problem.

Big intuitive eating day yesterday. Had a normal breakfast, then drove to France, where we weren’t hungry for lunch until after 3.  At dessert, I skipped the dessert and just had a cafe double’. Yum. French espresso is good. Dinner ended up being the cheese course we normally would have eaten in France, but didn’t get around to it.

Busy week at work coming up. Have a big customer visit, and then we’ll go out to dinner, unfortunately again to the same gourmet restaurant I’ve been to 4 times in 6 months. Getting a little old, I must say.

My goal for the week is to keep the basics on an even keel, and put my energy into things like the customer visit. Plenty of rest and peace is my plan for my free evenings.

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My miserable Monday ended on a tired note, but I’ve taken action to do things that are highly comforting.

It was a hard day at work, and I left late and exhausted. At home, a small glass of wine, covering up in my favorite blanket and curling up in a semi-fetal position all felt good. I even tried sucking my thumb, but it only felt good for about 15 seconds.

Then I rolled out the big guns. A toasted cheese and turkey sandwich for dinner, accompanied by Pride and Prejudice on DVD. Aaahhhhh.

Even my DD had a hard day. She called downstairs (yes, we are THAT lazy) and asked her daddy to go buy some favorite junk foods. He did, because she asked so nicely. Two kinds of ice cream, potato chips and little cakes. I decided to bake some frozen cookie dough so I have a few cookies to take on my flight tomorrow. I’m off to the US on a business trip, about a week in California.

This trip is different. I have far fewer “musts” when I get there: fewer foods to eat, fewer items to buy, fewer experiences to have. I’m even thinking about leaving my small suitcase at home, and not buying so much. We’ll see.

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