Posts Tagged ‘letting go of food obsession’

It’s not affirmations. It’s not guided journeys. It’s not cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s not binging, or nude meditation, or sewing, or EFT, or NLP, or scream therapy.

It may be all of those things and none of those things, but the bottom line is I’m changing the way I think, and it’s changing my life.

Beating myself up for EVERY.SINGLE.DECISION. was killing me. I was using food just to ease the pain of self-criticism. This is important to know, because when I am not self-critical, I’m not binging.

Then I faced a conflict. Part of me wants to be thin, and part of me wants to stay with binge eating and being fat, which are the devils I know. When I’m fat, I understand my world. There are no questions about “will they reject me,” of course they will, because I’m fat. Painful, yes, but in a convoluted way, that’s comforting.

Part of me wants to be thin and free of compulsive eating, but there’s a lot of unknown space out there. What do I do with my life? How will I accept that some people won’t like me even if I am thin?  How do I handle things when the answer is not always, “It’s my own fault.”

My choice is: comfort plus the known pain of being fat, or more physical comfort of being thin, but with many unknowns and risks, which might be even more painful than being fat.

Once I realized I had that conflict, I reduced it to this choice:

Do I want to continue with the self-criticism that drives me to food, or do I prefer the uncertainty that billions of people successfully cope with every day?

I prefer the second one, and am giving up the pain of self-criticism.


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This is working really well for me right now. When I am eating and can’t stop, or when I’m thinking about getting food and I know I’m not hungry, I follow these steps.

  1. Stop what I’m doing. Even if I’m bringing food to my mouth.
  2. Breathe deeply, sometimes several times.
  3. Close my eyes and sense all of my body parts, from toe to head.
  4. Ask myself, “What am I doing that I don’t want to be doing?” The first answer is always about food.
  5. Ask myself, “Why am I drawn to food at this moment? What thoughts am I avoiding?” It’s always not about food.
  6. Choose an action to take to fix the second question.

Sometimes the action also includes eating the food anyway, but with love and positive intent for myself.

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Just for today, I choose to live normally and not worry about food.

This has been an amazing week at work. Every night I come home exhausted, happy that I achieved so much. If you have looked at some previous posts, you’ll note that I went through a big round of possible change and discontent concerning my job. Now that I’ve taken some time to absorb and interpret what happened, I see things very differently.

Over the past 3-4 years, my job went through turmoil. Big big reorganizations, manager changes, goal changes. We worked hard to make positive improvements, but mostly it failed. The results in the past years were not very good.

Right after I made the mistake of interviewing for this job recently, my current job took an amazing turn, and now I have plenty to do, better integration into my local team, and we’ve made real improvements. This is a HUGE change compared to the mood that I was in when I interviewed.

I’m so busy, in fact, that I haven’t had time to worry about food. Or to obsess. Instead, when I begin to worry about things that used to fill my obsessions (mostly low self-esteem), I have good tools like affirmations to block the destructive actions. One of the easiest to use is to choose to not obsess for just the next few minutes. That generally clears my head enough to get on with life.

That’s why today’s affirmation is a good one. If you find yourself compulsively eating, or compulsively not eating, or compulsively putting yourself down, try choosing to just let it go for a short time. Promise to go back and obsess later if you really want to (and do it). I hope you find yourself more powerful and feeling more peaceful once you practice this for a while.

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